you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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