Whod you bang
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
