Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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