i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
