Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
