i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
