You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
