I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
