I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
