i wish starbucks made bloody marys
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
