whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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