There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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