Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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