I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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