You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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