Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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