I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
