when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
