no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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