Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
