so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
