Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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