Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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