it was like his penis was on wheels.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize