Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I didn't notice because vodka
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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