Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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