Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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