I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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