dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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