So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
