I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize