I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
