So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
