P.S. I can't hear my feet
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
