A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize