we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
