This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
