this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
