You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
