she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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