I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize