He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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