my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
