bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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