did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
