Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
