Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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