Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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