Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
