we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize