Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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