I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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