He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am puke
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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