After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize