we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
