just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
