Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
