i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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