I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
